Writing and Exes

Writing and my ex-boyfriends have one thing in common. I have a love/hate relationship with both of them. When words find me – the feeling is almost orgasmic and nothing in the world can compare. But when they don’t and all I’m left with is a blank screen – the urge the hurl my laptop out the window never ceases to amaze me. Just like some of the men that I’ve dated in the past 🙂

This is why people need to call out writing for what it is. A relationship that requires constant work, downtime, and room to grow. 

Not the romanticized bullsh*t you see on T.V. 

What you see on T.V. is a person (usually a female) sitting in front of her laptop (in a cozy setting of some sort), staring outside a window with a thoughtful expression on her face, before returning to her screen and miraculously pulling 500 plus words out of thin air. 

I blame SJP and Sex and the City for those unrealistic expectations because we all know that with today’s property prices the closest most of us are going to get to owning an apartment like that is through the sugar daddy/mommy business. 

However, after having spent years using writing as free therapy I believe I can offer some perspective on what to expect when you decide to become a writer.

1. Expect to spend long hours, days, and weeks with a writer’s block. The sooner you make your peace with this the easier it will get.
2. Inspiration is bullsh*t and will only strike you once in a while, so you better have a serious ‘why’ behind your writing goals otherwise you will struggle to continue. 
3. Expect to unknowingly play the role of your harshest critic. 
4. Realize that there will be instances where your sleep schedule will go out the window and so will your sanity. 
5. Don’t judge yourself too harshly if you find yourself binge eating a family-sized kit-kat bar because you are stressed about a certain chapter/article/post. 
6. Accept that you will find yourself going down a YouTube rabbit hole while trying to find inspiration. 
7. Forgive yourself for walking away from a piece of writing and realize that it does not make you a failure. 
8. Celebrate the little wins.
9. Be ready for a long and somewhat lonely journey because some of the best writing is often done alone. 
10. Accept the fact that your deepest fears and insecurities will come out throughout the writing process and be prepared to address the f*ck out of them because like I mentioned earlier. If done properly, writing can be therapeutic as heck.