photo artist: ayune

So apart from turning 32 earlier this week. I realised that my jaw has been clenched since I exited the womb.

Ever since I can remember, I have always admired bodies of water.

Oceans. Rivers. Ponds. Waterfalls.

You name it. And I was in it. Knees deep.

My brief stint to the US in my mid-twenties further confirmed how much I enjoyed being near the ocean. How much I relied on the sound of the waves to calm me down. To soothe my brain after a long day.

I have spent a majority of my life trying to control outcomes. Whether they are related to major milestone events or even situations where I know it did not make sense to fret. I would still find something to latch onto so I could control the outcome.

But after finding yet another grey on my scalp as a surprise birthday reminder. I felt my jaw hurt. After years of having it shut tight and constantly attaching emotions to outcomes I could never control, I realised that my goal for 32 was to be like water.

To let things flow as they were meant to. To let life unfold the way it was meant to. And to finally unclench my freaking jaw.