The Role of Masculine and Feminine Energies in Relationships

If you are like me and love to spend hours scrolling through the endless pit that is social media there is a good chance that you may have stumbled across the concept of ‘masculine vs feminine’ energies and how they impact relationships.

At first, I thought the concept was utter bullsh*t and was going to throw it away under the guise of clickbait. But the more I looked into it/was forced to look into it due to my skewered algorithm. I realised that there were elements of truth to this concept.

Especially when it came to relationships and the modern-day woman.

We now live in a day and age where we have more women in leadership roles than ever before, which has allowed us to progress in the workplace at a rapid pace. However, a lot of those women have encountered issues when dating men because the same attitude that has gotten them a seat at the table in the workplace has worked against them in the dating world.

It took me months to understand that it ultimately boiled down to the way we leaned into our masculine and feminine energies.

The truth is if we had more men that leaned into their masculine energy, we’d have more women that would ultimately feel more comfortable leaning into their feminity (and vice-versa). All of which, would ultimately allow us to navigate relationships from our core and create a sense of attraction (through the polarity of energies) between both individuals.

However, if you have had the pleasure of navigating through the dating scene in 2023, you will see a lot of women leading with their masculine energy resulting in more Hinge fail stories than successful ones.

So how can we (as men and women) use our masculine and feminine energies to our advantage to help deepen our intimate relationships and successfully navigate through the cesspool of modern-day dating?

Women

• If your partner has a more masculine core, give them reassurance and bring a sense of understanding to your relationship.
• Where applicable, call them out on their bullsh*t but avoid over-criticism.
• If you are like me and like to get things done by yourself 99% of the time. This bullet point might be a tough pill to swallow, but I’m going to put it out there anyway. Learn to let go and let your partner take lead on certain decisions (assuming they have the mental and emotional maturity to make those decisions) Please don’t let a man-child take the reins.
• Lead with your intuition. As women, we are naturally gifted with the ability to instantaneously evaluate the situation and make a decision based on gut instincts. If you feel a knot at the pit of your stomach when you are about to sign a year-long lease with ‘the man of your dreams’, do not ignore it. Listen to your gut.
• Show up with empathy. The next time you are in a heated discussion with your partner and want to succumb to ‘making a point’, take a step back and view it from their perspective. During moments like these put your ego away and make room for their perspective so they feel understood.
• Embrace the fluidity. Let go of the need to constantly be in control and instead focus on creating a safe space everywhere you go. When you are fluid with your emotions you create room for your partner to explore theirs, allowing you to deepen your connection.
• Learn to let go. If a man is being indecisive and non-committal, do not make it your sole purpose to constantly follow up and suggest meet-ups. Doing this will repel the type of partner who would naturally take the initiative to be a leader and provider.

Men

• Take the time to understand what your goals are and what your purpose is. Women find that incredibly attractive. How you choose to do this is on you. But take the time to figure it out and then lead with that. Having drive and a purpose automatically forces you into a leadership role within your relationship (which ultimately makes the woman feel comfortable enough to embrace her feminine energy).
• Take ownership. This can be done on a small scale (by planning dates) or a larger scale (by discussing what your plans for a future with your partner look like). By doing this you automatically step into your core masculine energy.
• Create an environment of stability (and I don’t just mean financially). Stability can take the form of consistency and commitment. Make sure you show up in your partner’s life in a consistent manner so she will feel safe enough to lean into you (and vice-versa) when sh*t hits the fan.
• Learn to protect and provide. For most men who live from their masculine core, this often comes naturally to them. Therefore in order to have your partner loosen their grip on the whole ‘strong, independent woman’ mask that they’ve glued to their faces, it is important that you create an environment where she can see that you are capable of making decisions that ultimately benefit the both of you.
• Lean into your ability to problem solve and be decisive. You know that natural urge that you get to provide a solution when your partner simply wants to rant? As annoying as it is (at times), women love that sh*t. We love a man who is focused on solving the issue at hand, whilst making room for us to express our feelings.

While I understand the above may not be applicable to all relationships. I do believe that our energies navigate the direction in which most relationships flow. So whether you choose to lead with your masculine or feminine energy. Have fun with it.