According to a very popular urban myth, if humans wake up at 3AM it is because there are spiritual beings out there that are trying very hard to reach out to you. For what reason, you may ask? Perhaps the ghost wants to seek vengeance against an ex-boyfriend? Or perhaps it realised that it left a peanut butter and jelly sandwich under the bed and wants you to get rid of it before the new house owners come in?.
Personally I have woken up at 3AM far too many times and still continue to, to this day. I would like to say it was because Jasper was dropping by to say what’s up.
But alas, it was merely because I was either really hungry because last night’s falafel wrap didn’t quite cut it for me or because my body suddenly decided that the 2 litres of water that I consumed during the day wasn’t enough to quench my thirst.
Either way, there used to be a time when a rested night was a mere allusion to me. During those nights I used to lie awake in bed, my eyebrows furrowed as my mind automatically produced a list of concerns that rested on my tiny shoulders.
Sana’s list of 3 am concerns:
- Will I really go to hell for the amount of innocent animals that were mercilessly slaughtered to satisfy my tastebuds?
- I can’t even cook 2 minute noodles without setting off the fire alarm, how will I fend for myself when I move out?
- I wonder what it would be like to be Andy Samburg’s sidekick.
- This whole 9 to 5 thing is getting a bit tedious; maybe I should start a puppy grooming business combined with childcare. I will then dress them up in pairs and become #insta famous and end up living in the Shire with a perfectly moulded bob and glossy set of manicured French acrylics.
- Did I leave the front door unlocked again?! Oh god! What if the perp is already in the kitchen making himself a cup of tea and going through his iPod playlist to try and find the perfect song that will muffle my screams.
- I should have taken those self-defence classes. I would’ve sucked at it because I can never do a flying kick to save my life, but at least I would’ve looked good doing it in my 200 dollar Nikes.
- Did I turn the shower off properly? What if I wake up in my 5am daze and walk into the puddle created by my carelessness, ultimately dying a tragic death.
- I wonder what it would’ve been like to be courted by Mr.Darcy?
- They say pets are a representation of their owners. I had a goldfish that died in 3 days due to his inability to control his food consumption. Is this a sign from god foreshadowing my own demise? I do have a weakness for a juicy burger.
- If I was to ever move out how will my parents cope? Being an only child and all I do cause a fair bit of drama within the household to keep things ‘fresh’, maybe I should get them a turtle or a pet lama to fill in the void.
- Why am I still awake?!